Saturday, January 24, 2009

my mineral forest

Something is growing inside me. A seed has taken root, pushing its way out and cracking the shell of fixed ideas, old patterns of being, fears of what next? In my mineral forest, I am one. Dreams expand, visions arise and illuminate my path out of darkness. This is how it always was meant to be. Every decision leads to the source. All adventures, successes, deceits, misfortune and loves gained and lost have guided me to this wrinkle in time. Painting, designing, visualizing, writing, sounding, space creating, fantasizing . Here in my solitude, everything is imaginable. And so I begin....

I moved to Angelino Heights on a whim - the off chance that everything might just work out. I didn't make enough money, had no assurance love was a sure thing, the state of the economy might never support launching this new design idea I had, but I did it anyway, and for that I am a better and more blissful human. The setting is perfect: a loft studio tucked away on an historic lane of Victorian Era houses with views of the downtown skyline. It doesn't get any better than this - at least for now, in my world. I am a city girl at heart and have no shame when I say "I Love L.A."

Beyond designing, here in my mineral forest writing is the means of expression for this creative outlet. I recently discovered that I love writing in the virtual world, exposed , yet still behind a protective shield otherwise known as the computer screen. In my journal writing, totally uninhibited, I scribble my thoughts, knowing I am protected from criticism. No editing involved. But there is only so far mere satisfaction of unleashing pent up emotions can take you. Upon returning from a trip to China last year, the letter that I wrote with my personal experience was used in a newsletter to promote the trip and my deepest and most sacred thoughts were shared with the public and somehow, I liked it. I wasn't afraid. All of the sudden, I felt if only for a fleeting moment, what it must feel like to have people you don't know read your words and be inspired. So I'm gonna take a stab at it and see how it goes.